Evelyn Paley, Ph.D., born June 20,1920, died March 26, 2008. A wise soul, she would say “They did the best they could have, if they could have done otherwise, they would have.” Faced with lung cancer in 1991, she said “Either I’ll die or I won’t.” She didn’t. Faced with brain surgery in 2002, she said “If it’s my time, it’s my time.” It wasn’t. But then the brainstorms began in 2007 taking memories and words. When her grandson asked in March, 2008 “How you doing Grandma?” She finally said, “You know Mike, I’ve had enough.” And she had.
"Enough is enough” translates in German/Yiddish to '“Ich habe genug gehabt.”
She died one week later. The above is a slightly altered obituary, one that I had the sad pleasure of writing. The reason I brought it into play here is the coincidence that year. In June, 2008, JAMA ran an essay entitled “The Genug Syndrome” written by Jennifer M Soyke, M.D. She describes her home visit to a very calm old lady, seated in a wheelchair, her breathing in her throat a rattle but her face was peaceful. As the family with the doctor sat around discussing her life, the breathing slowed, then ended.
Here’s an excerpt from the essay:
“When faced with the question of her actual cause of death, they realized we hadn’t discussed it. So this group of people who loved her decided she had died of genug syndrome. In one of Lisa’s languages, Yiddish, genug means ‘Enough!’ or, commonly, ‘Enough, already!’
“‘So what did she actually die of?’ one family member asked. Her daughter stopped me, protesting that it wasn’t important to know. She didn’t want her mother’s life to be summed up as a medical diagnosis...“Should I mar the identity of this complex person with such a rich life and legacy by reducing her to a medical diagnosis at the end – when, really, it was just genug? … Listing a medical-model cause of death seemed incongruent with her whole life and spirit.
“‘Well, actually,’ I said, ‘you’re right. She did die of Genug Syndrome.’”
Jennifer M. Soyke, MD
To read the entire essay requires a subscription to JAMA for which I have lost the password and user name. I tried several guesses, but then I decided enough was enough.
The Genug Syndrome
I will always remember your mother fondly. Her down to earth delivery of great insights was wonderful for me as a young person. How she aged was wonderful to read about as a person who is aging myself, with gratitude.
can't believe it's been that long. great post